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Do hamsters go to heaven? March 26, 2011

Posted by P, J, or J in Uncategorized.
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I wrote a short poem a few years back, which might have upset a couple of people…

“Do hamsters go to heaven?
Alas I cannot tell.
But this I say with little doubt
All gerbils go to hell”

I’d like to apologize to any gerbil lovers and state that I had not adequately researched the issue.
I did meet someone recently who’d read a book from someone who claimed to have insider knowledge on the fate of pets via a few visions of heaven. I was a little skeptical.

If you google “Do hamsters go to heaven?” (I did) you’ll find a few wishful arguments from people

  • If heaven is a place with no more tears, wouldn’t God give us back our beloved pets to enjoy in heaven?
  • If heaven is a place of love, what better place than for our pets to love us and for us to love them even more than when we had them on earth?
  • If we want our pets in heaven, God will surely give us our pets in heaven.

Again I’m more than a little skeptical. Theories on the destination of pets (or people) should probably be based on scripture rather than wishful thinking. On the pet side however there is not a lot to go on.

First century Palestine was perhaps not such a pet loving culture and there is no record of the pharasees trying to trap Jesus by asking whose dog Rover would be at the resurrection. But when they asked a similar question about marriage they were told that there would be no marriage in heaven. So I’m guessing that it’s ‘until death do us part’ on the faithful pets too.

Christians who lie awake at night wondering who will be there to look after their dog in a post rapture world can now secure the services of eternal-earthbound-pets.com run by nice animal loving American atheists who for a mere $135 (paid in advance) will rescue and care for their pets.

I did read recently the suggestion that most American Christians spend more on pet food in 52 days than on mission work in 52 weeks. Sadly I’m willing to believe that, and to believe that it’s not just true of the Americans.

I wonder whether attempting to make a case for only the pets of Christians getting into heaven would mean that more money would be spent on trying to reach non-Christian pet owners?

I won’t try but I’m sure there is someone who has already written a book on the subject and someone else who has made money arguing for a more universalist view.

I love the story of a pastor who is asked by a bereaved pet owner “what will I say to my cat when I get to heaven”. The pastor replies with a question, “What did you have for lunch today?”

“er… chicken.”

“what will you say to the chicken?”

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1. Who viewed what? | Pete, Jennifer & Joel - November 2, 2016

[…] looked at a different page. One was a lighthearted look at whether pets go to heaven (sorry if you’ve just lost a pet), some idioms from around the world, Bible translation […]

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